Some Bad News

At the beginning of March I had my first pregnancy doctor's appointment and they gave me an ultrasound to check the baby. Well, the baby ended up measuring a week smaller than we thought it would. So he wanted to see me again to have another ultrasound.

That appoinment was yesterday. We brought both of the kids so that they could see the baby, too. The whole doctor's visit was just a horrible experience. First of all, right when I got there they told me that I wasn't eligible for Medicaid anymore. So it was a whole mess trying to figure out why and what to do about it. So we told them that we couldn't afford an ultrasound today and that we would need to reschedule it for when we had insurance. So by this time I was already very frustrated and crying a little bit.

They said that they wouldn't charge anything to just have a nurse listen to the heartbeat with the doppler. So we went in to the room and they started looking for the heartbeat. The nurse tried for like 5 minutes and couldn't ever find it. She just kept saying that its really small and is probably moving around a lot. So she went and got another nurse to try. Well, she tried for another 5 minutes and she couldn't find it either. Right there I knew something was wrong and I was in tears. They said that we needed to do an ultrasound to try and find the heartbeat that way.

So we went in the ultrasound room and they started the ultrasound. Right when the picture came up I knew there wasn't a heartbeat. I couldn't see anything moving and you can definately see a heartbeat. The doctor took a LONG time to tell us anything, because he wanted to be absolutely sure before he told us. He measured the baby and it was measuring about the same size as it did at the beginning of March.

So then he told us that it was gone. He thinks that it died about a week after the first ultrasound. He said that he thinks thats why it was measuring small in the first ultrasound because it had already stopped growing and was already about to die. Everything else that he said is all kind of a blur. I just started crying and my head was just spinning. I couldn't concentrate on anything else by that point.

The kids were very worried about me. They didn't understand why I was crying. We had told them that we were going to the doctor's to see a picture of the baby, so they kept asking "Where's the baby?" We had to have a long talk about what happened. They still don't understand though. They are a little too young still.

Even though this is very heartbreaking, I have to say that I wasn't really surprised that it happened. This whole pregnancy felt strange to me. With Matthew and Kaity I was VERY sick the whole first trimester, and with this pregnancy I wasn't ever sick. At first I just thought that I was lucky, but then I started to get a little worried about it. I also wasn't gaining any weight. Some women don't gain any weight in the first trimester, but that because they are sick or the smell of food bothered them. Nothing like that happened with me. So I always felt weird about this pregnancy, like I knew something bad was going on.

We'll probably try again for another baby sometime during this year, I just can't really think about it right now. I just wanted to let people know what was going on.

Family Photos!

My sister is a photograpger and took our family photos a few weeks ago. You should check out their website at deanphotographs.com. I got my pictures back today and I had to post them! And of course you know how I am when it comes to picking which photos to post, so I went ahead and posted almost all of them! I know there is a lot to go through, but I hope you enjoy seeing a cute my little family is! :)

MATTHEW

He started gettin bored, so we told him to just do what he wanted to do and he decided to stand on his head! Silly Boy!

KAITLYN

HEATHER AND JEFF

FAMILY

Of course we had to get a little belly shot!

Weekend at Stoneridge!

This year for springbreak we went to stay at a resort called Stoneridge up by where my parents live. They have a time share there and they let us stay in it! The kids were so excited when we got there! They were just running around and jumping on the beds! I guess the 3 hour drive was a little too long for them! It was fun staying there with the kids! I had grown up going to stoneridge and Jeff and I even stayed there for our honeymoon! So it was pretty fun to share the experience with my kids! It had one bed and then the couch folded out into a bed! I was a little worried about the kids sleeping in the same room as us, because they go to bed so much sooner than we do! So to fix that, we just let them stay up until they fell asleep on their own! :) Some nights it was around 11:00 when they finally went to sleep! I couldn't chose what pictures to post so, of course, I did them all! Hope you enjoy!

Matthew does this really weird thing that whenever you want to take a picture of him, he does very weird poses! I guess he thinks thats what we want a picture of! So here is one of his poses! Silly boy!

Kaity was ALWAYS wanting to talk on the phone while we were there!

Here Kaity was singing us a song! What a mouth, huh!

Then we got our swimsuits on to get ready for swimming! Kaity is ALWAYS watching Matthew and coping him! She loves him so much!

They had a little playground there, too! We didn't stay there long because it was so cold outside!

Here Matthew wanted a picture with him wearing Kaity's hat! And of course he was posing funny again! :)

Matthew and Kaity even got to play some air hockey! Kaity is actually tall enough to reach the table! Just barely!

They have a pretty nice gym there too! The kids LOVED running around in there!

Kaity got tired and took a little break! But it didn't last long! She was back up and running around in no time!

Matthew has grown up so much lately! Like I don't even recognize him anymore! Hes looking so big! He is definately not my baby boy anymore!

I was a little worried about the swimming situation! Its just a lap pool there, so I didn't know how well the kids would do, because I didn't have any swim floaties or anything! But when we got there we noticed they had some floaties in the gift shop! I didn't know how Matthew would do with the arm floaties, but he did so great! I was so proud of him! He could have swam all day and he never need any help! He just swam everywhere all by himself! He absolutely LOVED it!

We got Kaity this floatie to swim in! I didn't know if she could use the arm floaties as well as Matthew! She loved it though! She had a lot of fun! I can't wait until this summer! I'm going swimming a LOT with them! I'm so excited that they are getting old enough to do all this fun stuff with!

Of course I had to throw in one picture of me and Jeff!

Kaity has a bouncy ball in her mouth here in this picture! I just thought it was really cute!

After a whole trip, with no naps and stayig up until 11:00 at night and having everyday be completely action packed, This is what the kids looked like as soon as we got back home! Matthew actually fell asleep during the car ride home and never woke back up the whole night! We laid him on the couch, stayed asleep, took him up to bed at 8:00 and put his pjs on, stayed asleep! And he stayed asleep until morning! He was extremely exhausted!

Jeff and I also played Miniture Golf one day there, but we didn't get any pictures! But it was fun! I'm glad that we had one nice day of weather while we were there so that we could play! Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us stay there! It was great!

My New Hair!

Well, I think we all remember when this horrible incident happened to my hair! Don't worry, I'm not doing this again anytime soon!
Well, it has grown out and began looking something like this! My natural color is pretty dark! Like a light brown, and then the rest of my hair was like really blonde! So it looked pretty ridiculous!

Then on Saturday I went to Mr. Leon's School of Hair and got my hair cut! I needed a trim really badly and while I was there I told them to add some layers to make my hair look better and more full! I love the hair style by the way! I think it looks so much better! While I was getting my hair done, the girl doing it kept saying how bad my hair looked. (I know thanks a lot, right!) Anyway, since they all thought it looked so bad, they gave me a good deal on getting some shades put in my hair! they were going to do it for only $20! So I couldn't pass that up! So today I went back and got the shades put in! They matched the colors to my natural hair color! So now my hair is FINALLY one color! YAY!! They said that it would lighten up a little bit! But this is now my hair color and I like it a lot better! What does everyone else think of the color and cut?

New Addition!

Well, I know that I've had the baby counter up for a few weeks now, but I didn't want to make an official post about it until I had my first Dr. appointment! Well, last wednesday I had my first appointment with the Dr. so I decided to make it official! I'm pregnant!! According to all the 'charts' I should be 9 weeks and 4 days along. On wednesday I had an ultrasound and I guess it measured small so the doctor said I might only be 8 weeks along! Who knows! Maybe the baby was just really curled up or something! So I'm going to have another ultrasound in 3 weeks to measure it again to see just how far along I really am! So for right now, I'm still telling people that I am 9 weeks (Almost 10)! I haven't been too sick with this pregnancy yet! Keep your fingers crossed that I won't get sick at all! I've had my sick days and everything, and I am EXTREMELY tired, but I don't consider myself as having morning sickness unless I throw up! And so far that hasn't happened! Yay! One more thing, I figured that I was done having kids after Kaity, so I got rid of EVERYTHING! So if anybody knows of any cheap baby furniture or anything, PLEASE let me know! Thanks!